What cannot be said, can be penned


May 2016

The Circus in full view

In this age of easy to prove guilty difficult to be proven innocent there are enough women out there who will put their breasts on the table and when ignored or not given more than their share of expectations will cry foul.

They are such great actors that most men (the poor victims) will feel it is easier to oblige than to resist.

These women are present everywhere, the career corridors are more exposed now thanks to social media but what about these man-eaters who are sometimes apart of your social circle or even worse a part of your extended or immediate family.

If it is office or external threat you can still resign or change your route but what happens when they are family, just like most child abusers these women will lay in wait till the family gatherings, dinners, birthdays, weddings any damn reason to come together and then will casually touch, corner, make suggestive remarks or if bolder (and more desperate) will sometimes touch in full view of the wife or other family members knowing fully well that it is too embarrassing to be taken upfront.

That it will entail disharmonious fights, allegations, suspicions well that is of no concern to them because by then she is out…………………………till the next gathering




Blank wall
Blank faces
Blank eyes
Stare into blank spaces

Blank paper
Black ink
Stories with gaps
With no links

Blank calls
No one to hear
Cries of agonies
Blankets of fear

Blank tiles
Blank files
Blank music
The notes faded away

Blank screen
The images
Turned to static

Blank tape
Muted voices


My Verses

Where are the verses that blossomed in my heart
I search for flowers in the valleys
Atop the mountains I run into fog
Reaching out to catch the shooting star
I seek the darkness of the underworld
Everywhere, every day I search for the lost verses
Have they drowned away in the storm of my tears
Or were they pushed into the endless black pit of my fears
The daily battle of life and bread
The strife for wealth, space
The desperate race of ambition
Trampled my little souls, my verses
But I vow to bring them back
From wherever they have gone to hide
If they die my emotions will crumble and
I will turn to dust

To my Friends……………

You have come but you fade away
Like a dream I yearned for long
And lost it before dawn
As always fate plays this game
While I am still watching
You will leave my hands and disappear
Thought I’s rest my tired head
On so many shoulders you have to offer
But I will only transmit to you my pain
Through the love we exchange
I will fall again in the never-ending pit
You will stand on the edge and watch
Though you would want to hold on to me
My hands will slip and I will scream helplessly
From my restless sleep I wake up and cry
I want you all to be nearby

Cottage in the mountains (A Dream)


The call of the birds had stopped simply and died away

The sun too had left me to hide behind the hills

I walked on soundlessly through the dusky paddy fields

Towards a winding road that led me to my humble cottage

The shy sleepy flower greeted me on the garden path

The stones too glittered at my arrival

The moon slyly peeped at me like a naughty child

The lambs were too content to bleat

My stifled yawns made the hearth’s fire jump

And the pot on the stove gave a mischievous thump

Yet another day had passed away

The stars were ready with their blinks

With my supper I sat on the creaking stairs

And the gramophone slowly sang an old favorite

Life was blissful amongst the natural setting

The fifth shifting (for Kirti)


A different title, that’s not all
It is very relevant because you never made it
Left me to face it alone
Years ago when you poked your little head
And said hello
I was skeptical whether to reply or just ignore
The girl across my room on my floor
But your smile was unlaced with
Anything I had grown wary of
Slowly we became acquaintances
Then friends, confidantes
Then parents siblings to each other
We would wait for the day to come to an end
As we recounted the office happenings
Boyfriend agonies, meals together, late night chats
All the while blaming each other when
We couldn’t wake up early the next day
Calling each other to keep dabbas
And just calling each other when away
It became more important to me that
You appreciated whatever I bought
And scolded me for spending so much
The demand for ghar ke laddoos
And conversations starting with KKs
Poonam came and melted in too
In the pot we were cooking friendship in
Then along came your sister Tripti and her friend Prachi
We called them kaccha limbus
But felt like mother hens towards them
All your applications signed by me
Ain’t then I also your father?
Lazy Sundays while clothes soaked
And we lamented “Clothes to wash and room to clean”
But we only lamented and sat and laughed
All the crazy hours after lights-out
When the matron pulled me out of your room
And you people from mine
Now none of that and the matron looks at me with sympathy
Wondering how I will cope the melancholy
Poonam went and took away half the light
Then you and now there’s only me
No cheer to come back to
What we had made home (out of a hostel)
For you ditched me and left
Before your fifth shifting

The Cabuliwallah

I had first read the story when
I was to learn it in ninth standard
Must have been fourteen-year-old then
I remember how I had cried
At the thought of friendship made
And the friendship lost
The turn of destiny which sent
A poor man to his Father-in-law’s* house
The anguish of a father who had lost
His daughter’s entire childhood
Only to return to a world where
He was no longer recognized, wanted
I read it again after nineteen long years
I remembered every word as I read
And so did my tears, for they
Burst forth precisely
At that moment which had made me cry then
It was so poignant that I was once again
The little girl Mini, her father
And the cabuliwallah all over again


*Father-in-law’s house is a euphemism for jail

I know not….

Trapped in my body I still

Search for what? I know not

Through the hazy lanes of confused mind
I roam around aimlessly, dazed
What am I searching for? I know not
For I lost myself long ago
In the sweaty crowds on busses and trains
I learned to push and get my way
But I left my thoughts behind
In a hurry to get to my place of rest
In the corridors of my hostel
Talking to floor-mates, laughing hollow
Lost is my laughter shared with my friends
Deep sounding and mellow
I search for my lost values
As I mechanically type words
The computer screen black and white
Reflecting my state of mind
Trapped in my body I still

Search for what I know not


In the morn when the dewdrops fall
I wake up fresh to receive the day’s offer
Sometimes pain and sometimes joy
Life is a mixture of roses and thorns
Smiling yet through the day I pass
At night to thank God
For every gift that he has showered
Even the griefs that have taught
Me to bear all with grins
Daily bread, shelter and attire
That he blessed me with the winter’s fire
I pray to him to be kind
To every human animal and bird
And close my eyes with a prayer on my mind

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